Dating a narcissistic person
in bullying, Dealing, emotional abuse, Fear, Narcissism, Narcissistic Victim Syndrome, NPD, Realtionship abuse, recognising emotional abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, surviving emotional abuse, Surviving the NPD, What is abuse?A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) displays patterns of deviant behaviour that can create carnage for those around them (spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, peers, etc). Healthy unconditional love requires a bonding beyond the surface appearance and behaviour of someone. I don’t know about you, but I don’t exactly grieve when an appliance breaks down and I need to replace it (I might be upset about the cost and effort required for the replacement though). You might come to a point where the relationship no longer works, yet, on some level, you continue to love the person, despite their behaviour. There is a loving connection beyond behaviour and circumstances. We love appliances, as long as they do what they are supposed to do. It’s not a love based on any core connection, it’s a love based on functionality. Maybe your computer, or cellphone / i-phone, or MP3 player. I imagine that, for a narcissist, it would be akin to asking you to sit in front of your computer and connect to its soul. Chances are, you’re not going to find anything to connect to. You know how an appliance like that can make a great contribution to our lives, to the point where, when it’s working, we really love it for doing all those things? You know how, when you truly love someone, whether it’s a person, or even a pet, you can get really angry at them, yet despite the anger, you still feel love for them? Unconditional love requires an awareness of a presence beyond appearances.However, as time progressed, I found in my own therapy practice that, indeed, there exist some individuals on this planet with narcissistic challenges.
The following is an attempt at a primer on such individuals.For many reasons, that deeper connection to self can be absent.